Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Every once in a while, I let my mouth run and I don't stop to think of the repercussions.  Granted, this doesn't happen very often, it's few and far between, but when it does happen, it's huge.  I have always been a passionate person when it comes to the things I feel and believe.  Whether the topic is horses or my friends and family, or agriculture, I stand by what I believe and there's a reason I feel that way.  Now, I don't speak up very often.  I have anxieties about that.  Saying what is on my mind? Yiiiikes.  No, thank you.  I'll sit idly by, watch everyone else converse about their beliefs, and run a never ending stream of commentary in my head.  That's my comfort zone and boy, do I love it.

I have spoken up once or twice, and people go bananas.  "What's this?  You actually have thoughts of your own on this subject?" or "So did you just come up with that because we said the opposite?". Yeah, I don't even know.  Are they even listening to what is coming out of their mouths? Because it sounds ridiculous.  That's when I remember why I kept my mouth shut and my feelings to myself.   They aren't worth me stepping out of my comfort zone.  

But that got me to thinking.  When would it be worth me actually saying what was on my mind?  When would I feel comfortable enough around anyone to actually say what I believed and felt?  As of yet, I had been shot down, ridiculed, and even told how stupid what I had said was.  I believed them for a while.  Yeah, what I was thinking was dumb.  Why was I so stupid to let it slip out? Would I ever do that again?  Heck NO, I wouldn't be.  Lesson learned.  But there comes a time when just sitting back and listening gets old.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I stopped hanging out with people I disagreed with, because I knew I wouldn't enjoy myself in any way.  I avoided conversations at work or school, because avoidence (in my mind at the time) was the answer.  It was easier to stay to myself and be the quiet person who arrives right on time and leaves as soon as she's able, than to participate and make friends and actually live a life. 

Enter UNL.  Sometimes, all one needs is a change of scenery and good, old fashioned agriculture.  I met a life changing friend at UNL, who is still in my life to this day.  She was the first to show me what a strong, opinionated, and successful woman could be.  Thanks to the ever horrible first day 'ice breakers' that I can never seem to escape, we became fast friends and it's been a friendship that has lasted through several UNL Ag classes, Dairy Store runs, Cross country moves, Cattle gate trippin hazards, and even a wedding. Yet, she's never faltered in knowing what she wants or how to get it.  Saying what's on her mind and meaning what she says.  During my short...'stint' at UNL, we started a blog, and I finally had a chance to talk about what was going on in my mind.  Granted, the blog was anonymous, but it was still our feelings and thoughts and for once, people listened.  Our blog was relatively popular and it helped my self confidence grow and it brought me to where I was a few months ago.  I am so glad I am still able to draw on my friend's strength and confidence when needed.  Between her and Alexis, I'm set for life. :) 

Alexis and I have been friends for a while, but never as close as we are now.  We are completely truthful to each other, support each other in life, and honestly care about how we are doing in life.  It's tough going through life with anxiety problems, especially when life decides it wants to throw curve balls at you, coming from every direction.  Alexis and I have always made it a point to make sure we knew we could be completely and brutally honest with each other.  Just stop and re-read that sentence again.  Did you inwardly cringe?  Because I know I did.  Completely and brutally honest.  That's pretty damn honest. That's saying that we had the right and the ability to say exactly what was on our mind, no holds barred.  Let me tell you, I took that and I ran with it.  If I ever felt or thought something, I said it and after a while, I almost think I might have stopped paying attention to how it might have made Alexis feel.   We had said we could be honest, so why should I hold back?  Because there is such a thing as tact.  I should take a minute to think about what I'm going to say instead of just bursting in there willy nilly and going to town.  It hasn't broken our friendship yet.  In fact, I would say it's made it stronger.  I tend to go on a rampage to Alexis and she dishes it right back .  I can't even tell you how refreshing it is.  We never say anything that's hateful or mean, because we don't see each other that way.  But I know I try to be supportive and if I think something could be wrong, I say something about it.  I know Alexis will listen and I know she knows that I only have her best interest at heart.  I don't ever want to go so far as to sound like a parental figure or someone who is reprimanding.  But damn, once I get started? I find it hard to quit!  I kept it in for so long, all I want to do now is let it go!(<<<---- alexis="" font="" frozen="" look="" nbsp="" reference="">

I'm blessed, lucky, and amazed I have two friends I can be honest with and trust them to be honest back to me.  The truth can hurt, but I'd rather have someone I trust, than someone I can't.  I hope you enjoyed reading this.  It was kind of a tornado.  So if you have to stop reading after a few sentences, that's ok.  Even though, if you do that, you won't ever make it down to here.  XD  

We'll leave you with some wise words.

“When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.” 
                       

-Shannon L. Alder

Soundtrack

• Beer Money-  Kip Moore
• Ol' Red- Blake Shelton 
• John Deere Green- Joe Diffie 

I Choose To Stand By Me

Here I am sitting here, another day, another incident, another time that I find myself judged and trying to explain myself. Constantly we, as humans, are judged. "Oh, she's fat." or "Oh, she's fit." , we are judged both ways. We are told what perfection is and how to or not to achieve it. But when it comes to our own lives, why is it that we are constantly judged for every one of our decisions, no matter how right or wrong they really are? 

I choose-what brutal thing to do in life.

I choose to be fit. With that choice, I get it both ways. I am either not fit enough, or I get "You are so skinny why do you bother?". Why is this a constant question or debate? I choose to be fit for me, so why not be happy for me? It isn't hurting you.  You should either choose to be happy for me, as long as it is good for me and not harming, hurting, or endangering anyone or thing, or not concern yourself with my decisions. I never asked for your approval.

Recently I have been going through a difficult time with my horse.  He has sustained a long list of injuries in the recent months and I chose to get an MRI.  I can't even begin to tell you how I am judged both ways. It's either been people telling me 'it's excessive' or ' you're really not doing enough for him!'.  I followed through and got the MRI because it was my decision and I felt it was necessary. Many people were happy we could finally know what's going on with Kiss. Others thought it was excessive, that it was too much. But again, I sit here and ponder.  Why do I feel like I went to a party naked?  Why am I owning up to those who think I am wrong and not to those who think I am right? 

I texted Jess about a particular incident where someone had questioned my decisions for Kiss to a point that was down right mean. Who are they to decide if I am being right or wrong. To decide if I'm  doing good for him or bad? It's between me, God, and the vet. If God enables me to pay for his procedures, allows insurance to cover them, and the vet feels they are in his best interest, then I am going to proceed. I no longer want to own up to anyone other then my supporters. It has been a long time coming and I should no longer be hostage to those who can't support my choices. Especially when the decisions are good, make me happy, or are going to help something or someone I love. This is my life, not theirs.

With that I am to continuing to choose.  For too long I have been to afraid to stand by my choices. However, having been blessed with a friend whom has changed the tides of my life forever, I am starting to find an anchor in who I am and what I choose. Thank you Jess, for being a part of this gift of God, the opportunity to change my life. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this.  Both Jess and I have had some struggles with this, so I know I'm not alone in what I'm feeling and deciding.  Please let us know if you have ever had to make a decision like this and how you went through with it.

-Alexis  

We'll leave you with some wise words.

“Sometimes, making the wrong choice is better than making no choice. You have the courage to go forward, that is rare. A person who stands at the fork, unable to pick, will never get anywhere.” 

- Terry Goodkind

Soundtrack

• I Like It, I Love It- Tim McGraw
• Drink, Swear, Steal, & Lie- Michael Peterson 
• Muckalee Creek Water- Luke Bryan 

One Step At A Time

Just a couple of days ago, I said to Jess "We should post less easy questions and write about what is real in our lives. We need to write about our struggles. People have the same fears and we should put ourselves out there." and now as I sit here, I have to eat my words and own up to my own suggestion.  I am realizing what has held Jess back for so long.  What if I'm rejected? What if I sound crazy? What if my posts or this blog is a total failure?   Cue the self talk.  "You can do this, don't worry or care about what anyone else thinks. This blog is for you guys."  Of course, directly following that is the "You're soooooooooo stupid for suggesting this."

I must own up to my actions; say what I mean and mean what I say.  I have never been one to say one thing and then do another.  Yet I know many people, and even have a friend or two, who are notorious for doing just that.  They say one thing and the next thing you know, they're doing something else.  It. Drives. Me. BONKERS! So here I am, faced with having to write something.  Something of value and something I struggle with.  So, with out further ado, I'll step to the ledge.  Here goes nothing!  I'm gonna JUMP!

More recently than not, I have decided that I need to start standing up for myself.  Contrary to popular belief, this has been a fight of epic proportions.  I even had a Talkative Tuesday  response about it.  Okay, I can see you now.  You're saying 'Alex, you're being dramatic.'  Yes.  Yes, as a matter a fact I am.  But that doesn't make it any less real or any less me.  Growing up, I was the kid who just did my own thing.  I wasn't popular, but I didn't care. I had horses and all of my horse friends in 4-H.  I lived for and counted down the hours until the time after school and I lived for the weekends.  Those times were spent at horse shows, on the back of a horse, and with my "cool" friends.  We were all crazy, had ratted hair, and backyard horses our parents stuck us on to learn to ride, and that meant you learned how to lose classes.  Us "cool" kids did not have the fancy clothes or the expensive trailers and horses to match.  We made do with what we had and we banded together because we didn't care.  We had one thing the rich kids didn't.  We loved our horses and we loved each other.  I have made and kept more friends from my horse years than I could ever count.  Jess being one of them.

Jess and I have always had our separate paths we followed, yet we never lost contact.  We have always been friends and we will always be the 'cool' kids.  We never got caught up in the drama, we did our own thing, and we kept to ourselves and our kind.  Until recently, when the stars aligned and God intervened, pushing our paths to merge.  Jess and I both struggle with standing up for ourselves, we both fear failure and irrational things, and we both have hang-ups with our anxiety.  However, we decided to take life into our own hands.  We decided that we were no longer going to quit life.  We are going to live it abundantly and we are going to reclaim our 'cool' kid status.  Standing up for ourselves is on our 'To-Do List Before We Die' and we will conquer it.

Jess and I both despise confrontation;  we would rather agree and suck it up than fight for ourselves.  We end up getting mad and venting to each other about not being able to 'just say no'.  Nevertheless, things are about to chance.  I know for me, at least, I am gaining that confidence needed to stand up to someone and not worry about what may or may not happen or what the outcome may be.  I am so tired.  No, scratch that. Exhuasted. I am so exhausted from hating the those internal feelings I get after I just agree to someone else's plan for me, to what someone else wants and causes me to jeopardize what I stand for, or to affect what I want or know is the right thing.  I just agree, instead of attempting to compromise or even initiate the compromise.  Let me tell you.  The tides are changing.  

I have a friend, who can be pushy, bossy, controlling, and manipulative.  Now, I'm not going to say names or anything that may hint to this person's identity, the story is the important part. I know you are asking yourself 'Why is this person her friend? What is wrong with you Alex, that you would keep this type of person in your life?'.  Okay, so here is my quick and dirty explanation.  They were not always this bossy, controlling, manipulative person.  It's taken a change of recent events in their life for them to morph into this new person.  This person was fun, friendly, and most importantly, they cared.  But something changed.  I took a break from this person's life and I stepped back for a bit, giving us some breathing room. Then, I gave them a second chance.  It seemed like they had reverted back to their old ways of being a caring and fun friend, but then the other side came out, especially when they wanted me to agree with them.  This person loves to tell me what to do with MY LIFE and instruct me on how  to live.  Recently in my life, a major even took place that has changed most things for me.  This friend felt it was their job and duty to consistently dictate to me what I should do in my life.  They would tell me how I was doing everything wrong, and if I wanted a better life, I should just do everything the way they did.  I would just ignore it. Their advice and constant badgering caused a lot of stress, internal tension, and major anxiety in my life.  It got to the point where I was wondering if they were going to bring up what they wanted me to change or get rid of every time they texted me.  

Of course, this went on for weeks because, as I've said before, I avoid confrontation like a child avoids green beans on their dinner plate.  I will do everything in my power but acknowledge the confrontation is there.  But eventually, the proverbial straw comes along and breaks that poor camel's back.  This person finally confronted me again about this life change they thought was best for me and I found that I had finally had enough.  Jess and I had talked about it A LOT and I was done!  I am sure Jess was sick of hearing about, but she still offered me more advice than one would know what to do with.  Luckily for me, it all came together.  I no longer wanted to hear what this person had to say.  I no longer wanted their advice.  The next time they texted me, confronting me, I confronted them right back.   Needless to say, this person was not expecting that reaction.  I was an easy target, a person they could bully to make themselves feel better, but when I fought back, they didn't know what to say or do.  They just responded with 'Ok. I have to go' and the conversation ended.  Before I had felt like I had enough, I would apologize and try to explain myself, but this time, I just...LET IT GO.  I have realized it's not my job to take on their feelings.  It's my job to take care of my own.  This is not the end of my epic internal battle, but I have finally taken the time to put on the armor needed and I am ready for the next battle.  They always say the first step is the hardest....  Man, are they right.  

-Alexis

I hope you enjoyed this post.  It was difficult for me to write, but I am so proud of myself for taking a step in the right direction. This might seem like a small step to any of our readers, but it is a HUGE step for me.  We hope, if any of you are having issues similar to this, always know that we are here and we love to listen.

We'll leave you with some wise words.

"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have."

                                                                                           -Norman Vincent Peale

Soundtrack

• Your Man- Josh Turner
•  Check Yes Or No- George Strait
•  Sober- Little Big Town

Success? What In The World Is That?

As a whole, life means something different to each person.  We all have our dreams and aspirations of what we wanted, thought our life would be like, and hoped it would turn out as, and they are each as different and individual as the people who have them.  Some of us might have images of grandeur and great success while others might have goals and dreams that are smaller in scale but just as important. These are difficult to achieve as it is!  No one person can know of every speed bump or blockade they'll have in life that they'll have to work to overcome.  But add living with something like anxiety or depression and the daunting walls become twofold.

I can't even begin to try and explain how deep I am in the quicksand that is life and how fast it's pulling me down.  Granted, I'm struggling quite a bit, so I'm sinking even faster, but sometimes I feel hopeless, like I can't get out, or as soon as I do, I'm pushed right back in. It's a scary idea to have and it can feel like it's suffocating me.  Success and failure are a huge part of my anxiety and they are always in the front of my mind, always around no matter what I am doing or thinking. 

Mirriam-Webster defines success as "the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like." and it's a definition many people use to measure their life, but I'm not sure I agree.  As a teenager in high school, I was more than involved in everything I could be.  4-H, FFA, Student Horseman's Association, Student Government, completing my two Associate's Degrees, riding and showing my horses, competing at the local, state, and national level, and various competitions within 4-H and FFA. I was a busy student and I saw myself as a hard worker and an overachiever.  My life wasn't going to way I wanted it to unless I put all my time into my FFA Chapter or my 4-H Club, or I didn't do the best I could at the Horse Judging contest and winning.  Now don't get me wrong.  Winning wasn't everything to me, if someone else did a better job than I did and deserved the win, I was happy with that.  I just wanted to make sure I did the best I could and put my best effort forward. I was good at what I did in high school and I had dreams and visions of where I would go from there once I graduated.  

I had hoped I would be offered a scholarship or two for all of my hard work in high school and everything I was involved in, but I wasn't.  I didn't let that deter me.  I was still going to go to the one of the colleges I wanted to and I was going to be involved once I got there.  Cut to me attending the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.  Those were two of the best years of my life. I met one of my best friends in the whole wide world,  Blogged, had some experiences I wouldn't trade for the world, and worked with some of the best people I will ever know. But it didn't last.  Some things happened, UNL became too expensive for my family, and I didn't have the answers anymore. That was so scary for me, not having the answers.  This was the first time that the feeling of not knowing was real and I didn't know what to do.  My mother came back to Lincoln with me to move my horse and all of my stuff back to Arizona, and if felt as if I had just hit a wall.  I failed myself.  I never finished school at UNL and now I was back home, no job, no degree, and no idea of what I was going to do next.  

The past two and a half years have been an immense struggle for me and I haven't really been able to get back up successfully and start living again.  It feels almost as if I have just been a passenger and whatever happens happens, and I just go along with it.  But that's not living.  That's not even kind of living.  That is one step short of giving up and just saying "the heck with it all, I don't care anymore."  I cared.  I still do, but I was so confused and unsure and frankly, scared of what was happening.  My mind didn't help any.  Every minute it could, it was telling me that I had failed and I was no longer the success I was in high school.  I would over-think every little detail and wonder what I had done wrong in high school that didn't get me the scholarship to the college I wanted or the higher placing at a National competition. As if, rehashing and rethinking everything from high school and my years at UNL would change anything.  Just going along with life and over obsessing about my past did nothing other than make me depressed and feel like I had peaked and now I was just here to be here.  

I allowed myself to listen to my mind and everything I over obsessed about and now I find myself to afraid of failing like I did before, to even try and go out and get what I want now.  I'm the one on the edge of pool, jealous of the people in the water having fun.  I have so many opportunities and chances for my life to change and I keep putting them off because I don't want to fail again.  I don't want to feel as if I wasn't good enough or I didn't try my hardest and it's my fault.  I am so scared of disappointing people and seeing them look at me with disappointment or pity in their eyes.  That debilitating feeling of possible, impending failure keeps me from reaching for the stars.  I can't live like this anymore.  My anxiety is winning and my fears are at their highest point.  I am not proud of the person I have been in the past couple of years.  Sure, things happen and people change, but that doesn't mean that I have completely failed.

Success, to me, can also be defined by the people around you, the hobbies you have, the job you're at, and how you view life.  I don't believe that it has to be defined by your career, your stature, your wealth of money.  Define it instead by if you're happy.  Are you happy with the job you have currently? Career or not.  Are you surrounded by people who genuinely care about you and your life? Do you involve yourself in hobbies that keep you happy and entertained and busy?  Because if you can answer yes to any and all of those questions, you're successful in my book.   Everyone has failures and setbacks in their life.  But if they keep their chin up and busy with their friends and hobbies and themselves, the failures don't seem so big.  They aren't so daunting.  

Something I've learned since moving back to Scottsdale and becoming even better friends with Alexis, is that I'm never alone.  Even when I may think I am.  There will always be someone out there who is willing to help and invested in your life.  She keeps me grounded, sane, and inspired.  My photography is something that I use to help when my anxiety feels like it's too much.  She's helping me get it off the ground and continue with the ideas that I had. Pushing me to keep going, even though I'm scared of failing.  I'm lucky and so completely blessed to have her and my wonderful 'sister' from Nebraska.  Because I wouldn't be able to see clearly without them.

                                                                                                                                       - Jess



I hope you enjoyed reading this today!  It was a little intense for me to write, but I wanted to share.  If you guys have anything you struggle with, success or failure wise, please share and let us know how you overcame! We look foward to hearing from you!

We'll leave you with some wise words.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

                                                                                                           -Winston Churchill

Soundtrack

• You- Chris Young
• Chillin' It- Cole Swindell
• Helluva Life- Frankie Ballard

Talkative Tuesday 3

Today's Talkative Tuesday Question.

Write "I am..." on ten empty lines.  Then complete the sentences.

1. I am...optimistic
2. I am...insecure.
3. I am...gullible.
4. I am...a "Marshmallow".
5. I am...a die hard country music lover.
6. I am...a Husker 'til I die.
7. I am...unsure about the future.
8. I am...anxious about most social situations.
9. I am...an iPhone maniac.
10. I am...an equine student.

-Jess

1. I am...an obnoxious animal lover.
2. I am...all about crazy hair.
3. I am...a gym rat.
4. I am...a chocolate hater.
5. I am...a scrapper(scrapbooks).
6. I am...an old school Eric Church Fan.
7. I am...Mark Walhberg's unknown wife.
8. I am...a best friend.
9. I am...a Disney hooligan.
10. I am...independent.

-Alexis

We hope you enjoyed reading our answers.  If any of you feel like sharing your thoughts and/or answers for our Talkative Tuesday question, please feel free to do so!  Answer with whatever comes to mind first. A personal internal struggle, a vacation you've always wanted to take, having the courage to say no to someone, anything at all! 

We'll leave you with some wise words.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

  -Judy Garland

Soundtrack

• Cop Car-Keith Urban
• In Color-Jamey Johnson
• Watching Airplanes- Gry Allen

A Wise Man Once Said

Johnny Depp says "You can close your eyes to what you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to what you don't want to feel."

Now, more than ever, in my life, I feel like I close my eyes to stop feeling, but all I find myself doing is not seeing. I try to close my life off when I shut my eyes, I try to stop it all. Yet, what I really stop is the seeing, but I keep on feeling.  I can't close my heart of stop it from feeling the pain.

More often than not, I skip out on life, so I don't have to feel or see.  But let me tell you, it still hurts.  I'm not even sure which hurts more, knowing that I am standing outside the fire of life (thank you, Garth) or that risking it all and jumping in can be exhilarating.  But if I do that, I run the risk of being burned.

My life has been turned upside down, sideways, and thrown off a cliff in the last few months.  I notice now, more than ever, that my anxiety has grown and grown.  I've stopped seeing. I don't go on Facebook, I don't text my friends, I've stopped riding, and yet, I keep feeling.  They just don't stop  I can close my eyes to my life, but my heart keeps beating, pumping blood and oxygen, and it keeps right on feeling.

Jessi approached me and asked me to do a blog together.  She asked me to be a part of her life and she asked me to help her heal.  I agreed.  I opened my eyes and decided I can't keep walking blindly and hating life, and by life I mean the small existence I had become.  That I have to make a change and I am the only one who can.

So I agreed.  I agreed to start seeing again. To stop hating what I feel and instead, learn to just feel it and learn to live with it.  Lately, I've been so angry and torn, sad and broken, but she makes it okay to feel all of that.  But what is even better is that I get wonderful company, great pictures, and someone else who has tried for too long to close their eyes and stop the feeling.  I know in the next few weeks, my world can be turned upside down with news of my horse. But I now know that I can feel everything, survive, and not be alone in doing so.

-Alexis

Has this quote ever spoken to you? Has it ever made you feel so strongly and made you want to reply? Or any quote for that matter. If you have a quote that has spoken to you, please share it with us! We would love to hear back!

We'll leave you with some wise words.

"You can close your eyes to what you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to what you don't want to feel."

- Johnny Depp 

Soundtrack

• Water- Brad Paisley
• Running Out Of Moonlight- Randy Houser
• Til My Last Day- Justin Moore

A Valentine's Day and Our Weekend Adventure

 Ahh!! Valentine's Day has come and passed and man, did we have a GREAT weekend! If you read our Valentine's Day, Oh Yay -.- post a few days ago, then you're all caught up on our views, feelings, and plans for Valentine's Day.  If you haven't, just click on the title and take a ride to our previous post! Go! Get to reading!  Anywho, neither of us have boyfriends, so we didn't have any romantic Valentine's Day plans. We weren't heartbroken over it, sometimes Valentine's Day is too much of a not always good thing. LOL. But that's just us! So we decided to be each other's Valentine's and spend the weekend being AWESOME! The first thing to start the weekend off right? Dutch Bro's Coffee.  Yeah. It was a must.  Drink of choice? A medium, Iced White Russian.  Ecstasy in a beautiful cup. Of course, we also had to pause for the obligatory 'First Dutch Bro's Coffee Selfie' (Alexis had never been).

Yeah.  This is totally us. 

We can't even express how awesomely this set our weekend off. We were blissfully happy.  We swear to you, that coffee has magical powers.  We had some great plans for the weekend, but first up? A movie. HECK YEAH!  So, of course, we had to hit up the local Fry's to buy cheaper, more delicious candy. Who doesn't like to snack on contraband at the movie theater?  We were assaulted as soon as we walked in. Valentine's Day EVERYWHERE!

Oh my goodness, so much pink! :)

I was...forced to pose for this photo. See my face? Ooo! Candy Bouquets. - Jess

We went and saw 'Monuments Men', starring George Clooney, Matt Damon, John Goodman, and several other wonderful actors.  We went to the movie theater with RECLINING SOFA CHAIRS for each person. It was AMAZING! Though, anytime someone moved their chair up or down, the leather made a farting noise and it was pretty funny.  It was so much fun and a great ASAA Movie date! :D 

So not sure what is going on there. >.<

Yeah, we got to recline.  All the way back.  

After the movie, we had headed back home and painted our nails with the awesome gel nail polish! It was amazing.  Don't our fingers look just so beautiful? And our matching Pony bracelets. Aww :) 

We couldn't let our awesome and amazing weekend stop there.  Saturday, we attended the 59th Annual Scottsdale Arabian Horse Show because we live and breathe horses, the shopping is amazing, and it's basically obligatory. :) Plus, the Equidome was re-built, so we had to see what the hype was all about!  We had a wonderful time.  Saw some beautiful horses, ate delicious food, and even shopped a little.  The shopping this year was a bit disappointing.  No where nearly as much shopping as there had been in years before.  But that's not to say we walked away empty handed! There were so many great things we saw!!

OMG! A horse with a moustache!- Alexis

Junior to Ride Hunter Pleasure

Junior To Ride Native Costume

OH MY GOSH! A HEREFORD stuffie! No, I'm not drunk. >.<- br="" jess="">

We couldn't help ourselves.  We had to take pictures EVERYWHERE! But overall, it was a great Saturday!  Sunday night, there was a family Valentine's Day party.  Complete with food drama, Moonshine Cherries(yes, you read right.  Moonshine Cherries), Chocolate covered bacon and strawberries, and cute rings.  Yes.  We took pictures of all of them! How could we resist?

'I'm a flirt!'  Hah. Yeah right. XD- Jess

Mom, get a pic of us with our rings!- Alexis

Aren't they beautiful?

Oh my gosh. I could have eaten the whole jar.  I just had one.:) - Jess

Oh gosh, do you see this? Chocolate Dipped BACON! DELICIOUS- Jess

That party was so much fun! The food was delicious, the company wonderful, and the photos fun. :) We happened to overdose on too much food, dark chocolate, and amazingly magical punch.  Great memories were made that day!

On the way to the specialist.

That Monday, a holiday, we took Scooter (Alexis' horse) to a specialist to hopefully get a better idea of why he was so lame! For you non-horsey people, that means something was causing his natural way of going(moving/walking/motion) to be hindered so he was failing to travel and move in his normal way.  It was a very interesting and eye opening experience.  We will definitely be keeping everyone updated on his progress! He's getting ready for an MRI for some better diagnosis results. Fingers crossed and prayers would be appreciated greatly!

X-ray!

Yeah, that was our weekend. But we aren't even done yet.  After coming back from a short craft store trip, we notice Jess's car was leaking GOBS of...stuff.  

My poor truck is bleeding. :( -Jess

FREAK OUT MODE! Quite literally! We had no idea what to do, the poor little, hardworking Ford was injured.  Alexis called her mom and she came out and took a look while we waited for Alexis's roommate. Several diagnoses went through. It was my radiator.  Nope, it was the water pump.  No, wait, it's the hose for the radiator.  All the while, Jess was freaking out because most of that is pretty expensive once everything is added up. Then we pinpointed where it was leaking from (PHEW) and just waited for her roommate!

It kind of looks like I hit her! D: - Jess

Her roommate came, re-attached the hose and Jess was on her way.  Overall, it was such a wonderful weekend.  We helped each other with our anxiety, enjoyed each other's company, and made quite a few more plans for the coming weeks!  Can't wait to blog about our next adventure!  We hope you enjoyed reading this entry. Maybe even laughed once or twice at Jess's horribly horrendous pictures.  We have stopped hiding and this is us. Can't wait until next time!

We'll leave you with some wise words

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. IT is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

- Albert Schweitzer

Soundtrack

• Radio-Darius Rucker
• Where The Green Grass Grows- Tim McGraw
• Watching You -Rodney Atkins

Talkative Tuesday 2

Today's Talkative Tuesday Question:

If you were a character on a TV show, which one would you be?

If I were a character on a TV show, I would be Carrie from Sex and the City. I would love to be her because she has had her struggles in life,  but she constantly stays positive and focused on moving forward.  She had majoyr challenges of not being able to have children AND losing her husband, yet she pushed forward, met the perfect man, & adopted.  I also admire that she sees the good in everyone. I would also be Perry, from Phineas and Ferb!  He is stealthy, cute, and PURE AWESOME!

                                                                                                             - Alexis

It didn't take me long at all to figure out what TV Show character I would LOVE to be if given the chance.  Are you ready? I'm not sure that you are.  If I could be any TV Show character, I would be............ Veronica Mars from, Veronica Mars . First off, she's, please excuse my french, one bad ass teenage girl. For those of you not familiar with Veronica Mars, you should be.  It's one of those shows where you either love it and are sucked into the happenings in Neptune, CA or you don't care for it and could care less that it was canceled after only three seasons.  I am most certainly the former.  I am what Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) fondly calls "Marshmallows", or extreme fans of the show. Now back to the character dealio. Veronica is a determined, plucky, and loyal person who believes in finding the truth, no matter how hard it could be.  Yet as perfect as she may seem, Veronica has her own cracks and dents in her shiny, private eye exterior.  She starts out the season with realizing she was raped and trying to figure out the story behind that, as well as coping with the murder of her best friend.  Those are definitely not easy things to deal with as a junior in High School. I love the character of Veronica Mars because she has issues and problems, but she works through them, whether it's successfully or unsuccessfully. That makes her so...real to me.  Everyone has problems in life, but sometimes, it seems like TV Characters are so fictional and unreal, it's hard to me to connect with them.  It is so not the case with Veronica. She's snarky and sarcastic, loyal and true, pretty and smart, and resourceful and independent.  Things I wish I could be! She's definitely a type of TV Character I could, and do, use as a role model and when things get rough, I love to re-watch the show and just escape temporarily to Neptune, CA and the life of Veronica Mars.

                                                                                                              - Jess

We hope you enjoyed reading our answers.  If any of you feel like sharing your thoughts and/or answers for our Talkative Tuesday question, please feel free to do so!  Answer with whatever comes to mind first. A personal internal struggle, a vacation you've always wanted to take, having the courage to say no to someone, anything at all! 

We'll leave you with some wise words.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

                                                                                ― Helen Keller

Soundtrack:

• When She Says Baby- Jason Aldean
• Trashin' The Camp- Phil Collins
• All Over the Road- Easton Corbin

Talkative Tuesday 1

Today's Talkative Tuesday Question:

Name one thing you always wanted to do, but haven't. What has prevented you from doing it?

The one thing I have always wanted to do would be to stand up for myself at all times. I have always had a hard time standing up for myself and what I want in life. There are times that I really want to stand up and make a change, but I have a hard time finding my inner voice and the courage to do so. I want to learn how to stand up for myself and what I want. Both being shy and having irrational fears have held me back from standing up and defending myself, as well as others. It is a constant battle for me and I would love to change this in my near future and am excited to do so.

                                                                                                             - Alexis

I have always wanted to have the courage to make the first move.  Whether it is with guys, even as small as talking with them in a social manner, or in a group setting, when decisions are being made.  I have found myself staying in the background and waiting for everything to happen around me, hoping they might ask my opinion in the matter, but not wanting to speak out.  As a result, I am either ignored or stuck with plans I may not like.  Granted, I've realized this is all my fault. Ha.  But it doesn't mean it doesn't affect me in any way.  I just have a feeling of being bothersome or that my attention is...unwanted?   Talking to guys? Yeah right.  Fugeddaboutit. Just the thought of going up to a guy and saying something is making me uncomfortable and question everything around me.  Crazy, right?  Yeah, I know. Guys really aren't that scary. That is, until you think they are attractive and you hope they might think you are something above pond scum, but aren't really sure.  People always say that half the time, the guy is thinking the same thing about you.  I don't believe that for a second!  Yeah, maybe 1 in every 50 guys I see might be thinking that.  But that's a lot of guys who probably aren't.  I've never been one of those girls that people look at and think "Dang, she's pretty and she has it all together."  True story. Those are the girls that guys talk to, interact with, and like.  So I've never felt like I... had a chance?  I don't know.  My mind loves to over think every little stinkin' thing and it really gets me in a tizzy.  Overanalyzer? Yup, that's me.  But hopefully, over the course of the next few months and this blog, things will change and you'll read about me going up to a guy first!

                                                                                                              - Jess

We hope you enjoyed reading our answers.  If any of you feel like sharing your thoughts and/or answers for our Talkative Tuesday question, please feel free to do so!  Answer with whatever comes to mind first. A personal internal struggle, a vacation you've always wanted to take, having the courage to say no to someone, anything at all! 

We'll leave you with some wise words.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” 

                                                                                                    ― E.E. Cummings

Soundtrack:

• Would You Go With Me-Josh Turner
• Wagon Wheel- Darius Rucker
• Troubadour- George Strait