Yes, it's here. Can you believe it? January just FLEW by and now February is halfway over! It's that time of the year again. When couples get lovey dovey and those of us who are single either sneer at said couples and scoff at their 'romantic airs' or we commiserate with other singles and sullenly stuff our faces with the ridiculously expensive chocolate we bought ourselves from the local drug store. We're not going to lie. We miss those days in Elementary School, where we would make our own mailbox out of the colorful construction paper and beg our parents to buy us the coolest boxed set of Valentines we'd see on the store shelves. Then we'd get to class on Valentine's Day and we wouldn't be able to sit still in our chairs until our teachers let us hand out the valentines to each class mate. I know I always enjoyed the chocolate or tattoo surprise cards. They were always the best.
But somewhere, in the time span from Elementary School activities and this thing we call grown up life, Valentine's Day has evolved into something a bit more...aggressive? I mean, think about it. You can hardly walk into a grocery store or a drug store without being accosted with red hearts, chocolates, and teddy bears, all of which are claiming they "Love you so 'beary' much." Don't even get us started with the Hallmark cards! Ha. Nowadays, you can even get a Valentine's Day card for your Hamster. Does your hamster really care? He can't even READ! Though, he probably would enjoy a yummy treat every now and then. :)
But that's not even what we are here to talk about. For some of us, Valentine's Day is a breeding ground for our anxiety and feelings of self-esteem. At least, we know it is for us. After a certain point in life, Valentine's Day is about having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or someone you would call your significant other. It's a 'holiday' (we don't even get time off for it. LAME XD ) that stresses the importance of being in a romantic relationship. What's so wrong with having friendly relationships with friends? We love getting small packages together and sending them to our friends to show them we appreciate them. Plus, who doesn't love getting chocolate and candy? We will admit to eating the noms. They're so delicious, can't let them go to waste!
I know I've always felt like there was something wrong with me, that I never had a 'Romantic Valentine' in my life. Most of my friends would be in relationships and they'd love to tell me all about what their boyfriends had planned, what they received as gifts, and how perfect he was. How come I never had that? What was wrong with me that I didn't have a wonderful boyfriend like all of my friends did? I would sit and rack my brain over and over again, trying to figure out why guys didn't like me. I can't even begin to tell you everything that went through my head. I over analyzed and obsessed on it like nobody's business. I wasn't skinny enough, I didn't wear the right clothes, I was too fat, my hair was the wrong color, etc. You name it, I probably thought it. I acted, outwardly, like it didn't bother me in the slightest, but that was lie. I would go
home and talk to my horses about it. Ask them why guys couldn't accept me the way I was or why I was the one alone for Valentine's Day. It sucked majorly. It affected my self-esteem and the way I viewed myself.
Now I can't say that I've completely outgrown this as I've grown older and found other friends who were also alone. We have celebrated together, even participating in Singles Awareness Day one year. That is a whole different story, XD. But I've made friends who help me see other things about me that make me a unique and special person, and even beautiful in some ways. I still feel that little twinge inside every once in a while, when walking by a Valentine's Day end cap in the store, but I push it aside and I grab the cutest stickers I can find and the most delicious treats I see, so I too, can pass on the joy that is Valentine's Day.
-Jess
Valentine’s day- the day to celebrate the
obligation of buying expensive flowers (where the prices rise over 100% in the two
weeks before), gobs of jewelry, and show how much you are in love with that
someone special. To me, Valentine’s Day is just another day that has gained
great attention and is forced upon the world, where it’s the norm to have
someone special and gift them half of your paycheck. I have never seen the
point in this Hallmarked holiday and hate the feeling of ‘oh joy, once again I
am alone’ or ‘oh man, I have to buy my special someone some silly gift that I won’t
be able to figure out what it will be until 11:59 the night before’. Next is the
obligation to have THE BEST Valentine’s day.
If you are in a committed relationship, you have to outdo yourself year
after year, otherwise you don’t meet expectations. If you are single, you are
left out of the special movies that are playing in theatres, there is nowhere
to eat because the droves of couples have swarmed every restaurant in town, and
you are left to sit at home and feel like death warmed over.
In my
case, I have never enjoyed this particular holiday in a relationship or out.
When I was in a relationship, I didn’t want that person to spend the money on
flowers or try to plan some extraordinary day because they felt obligated. I want flowers on any random day and to feel
special on a Tuesday for no good reason other than my boyfriend believes I
am. Not because America has dictated to
us that this is the one day that you love someone more than all others and you
show it by buying their love. This year will be a new, fresh start spent with a
special someone, my best friend. We will
not participate in the cliché flower and chocolate giving. Instead, we will
spend it joyfully in celebration of our renewed friendship and as a step forward
in our anxiety and stress constrained lives. We will head out this Friday,
knowing it is going to be a fabulous night, even if we end up at McDonald’s,
eating 59 cent ice-creams. We will have our friendship and a great story at
hand and for me, that is the best Valentine’s Day gift I could ever be given.
-Alexis
What we've learned, is that you don't have to be in a relationship to participate in and ENJOY Valentine's Day! Use it as a holiday to tell the people in your life how much you love and appreciate them. Granted, you shouldn't only tell them on the holiday, but sometimes it is nice to have a special day. Grab that cheesy bear with the heart and the lace and the horrible "I love you beary much" saying and pass it on to a friend or family member. It could brighten their day and help raise their self-esteem. We know it does for us! It's so nice to know that someone else is thinking of you and was kind enough to pass it along.
Both of us are single this Valentiine's Day, but we don't care(not too horribly much anyway). We decided we were going to hang out together and be each other's Valentines! We're going to meet up on Valentine's Day, enjoy each others company, and have fun because we are appreciative for each other and love the friendship we have! Yes, we'll blog about our Valentine's Day Adventures. But here is to us, taking one step towards battling our anxiety and insecurities about Valentine's Day. :)
If you have a significant other, have a GREAT Valentine's Day! It's a day of love. Enjoy it! If you don't, that's ok. There isn't anything wrong with you, we see you as perfect and beautiful in every way. Enjoy Valentine's Day as a day to love yourself. Go out and have a coffee or go see a movie just for you. Do something you've wanted to do, but haven't made the time for. Make Valentine's Day all about you. If you have family, make it a big deal. Valentine's Day is about love for everyone,
including yourself. Make it a fun one. Tell us all about your plans or wha
t you ended up doing! We'd loooooove to hear about it! :)
We'll leave you with some wise words.
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."
-Unknown
Soundtrack:
- Long Black Train-Josh Turner
- Carrying Your Love With Me- George Strait
- Alabama- Brad Paisley
